30-DAY NOTICE TO VACATE
To Mr. or Miss Baby Wagner:
You are hereby notified that you are in violation of the rules, regulations, rental agreement, and/or obligations or restrictions applicable to your tenancy of the premises commonly known as YOUR MOTHER'S UTERUS.
Pursuant to the provisions of your due date, you are hereby given an eviction notice and ordered to vacate the womb, on or before October 25, 2009.
The reasons for this notice are:
1) Numerous complaints about nightly disturbances.
2) Undue destruction to landlord's property (i.e. physical discomfort and stress to bladder, cervix, and abdominal structures), as well as potentially permanent alterations to landlord's facade (stretch marks).
3) Pilfering resources (blood, fluids, energy) from landlord without adequate repayment.
4) The term for which you rented the property is nearly over.
You are instructed to comply with your obligations and vacate the womb within 30 (thirty) days of service of this notice.